I Survived 100 Days as a WITHER STORM in HARDCORE Minecraft!

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Faith, Babies, And Trusting God

I have pirated a couple of pictures from Sarah's site of my little grandson Kellen. I put the most recent one as the desktop picture and everytime I see it I just want to kiss his little face. From day one he has been my "little Kissy face boy". Although when he gets older he may not appreciate that nickname:-) He is so darn cute! I suppose all grandparents feel that way about their grandbabies, but I really think Kellen is extra special :-)

His whole arrival into our family was a miracle, and because I do believe he is a heritage from the Lord for Matt and Sarah, I think the Lord has big plans for him.

The very first time I held him when they brought him home, I remember silently praying, "Lord bless this little guy, that he grows up to be an awesome man of God someday and has great impact for the kingdom of God."

If you read my first post about him and the kid's long journey in his adoption, you know that last year before his arrival was very emotionally difficult for Sarah and Matt. With so many disappointments, being taken advantage of and trials in faith, Kellen truly was and is a miracle.

I believe all babies are miracles, the whole pregnancy and birth process is in and of itself a miracle from God. And each child is a blessing. Too many people today don't think about that or even believe it. If they did there would not be such a thing as abortion or child abuse.

 The whole process has been a walk in faith. Honestly I do not know how anyone could make it through what the kids have gone through without a relationship with Christ and faith that the Lord was with them through it.

Sarah and I have both started doing a nine week bible study by Beth Moore called "Believing God".  It's amazing and really gets to the point of are you going to really trust and believe God or not? Sarah said Matt has begun the study also. It all boils down to this: Do you believe God, not just believe in Him but believe HIM? Do you believe He is who He says He is? Or do you believe what the world says about Him? 

I have always believed God, although that is not to say there were not times when I have doubted, but my times of doubt in no way affected the fact that God is who He says He is and can do what He says he can.  This bible study has impacted me mostly in the area of disipline.

Getting into the word every single day for a least and hour or two. Learning the scriptures that back up what I already believe. Learning the original greek and hebrew words behind the translastions. It's been really cool and I am only one week two, day two.

I wish there was a way to get through to every believe just how vitally important it is to mediate and study the word of God daily. Not just reading it but really digging in and studying what God has given us in His word. It is our sword ya know! How can you even being to win a battle without one of your greatest weapons??? And how can you even begin to have the kind of faith you need without the word? "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the WORD". Romans 10:17

The journey of Kellen's adoption is not quite final yet, but I know the Lord brought this child into our lives for a purpose, and I do not believe He will allow anyone to take that blessing away. I believe (know, have no doubts, trust) God!

Been Awhile

Not the actual place we lived

I haven't posted anything to this site since my mom passed away Dec. 2006. I didn't realize it had been that long. I think in part it is because my mom is the one who really liked to read the posts I did here, about our life at the cabin. Since she's been gone I haven't thought much about those days. But I have decided it's kind of a waste to have this space and not utilize it.

My youngest son Christopher has been living with us for the last couple of years, so the subject of when we lived at the cabin comes up often. Of all the kids he loved living there the most. Must be because he was so little at the time.

Sarah hated it when she was there, which is understandable being a young girl and having to live with three brothers and no basic household necessities like running water, indoor plumbing or electricity.

In retrospect is was a much better place for the boys. With nature all around us, the creek to play and explore in, mountainsides to climb and caves to explore. It was a little boy's paradise.

There are times even still I do miss the simplicity of living there. Being surrounded daily by the beauty of nature. A lot of my faith in God is a result of living there. Having to minute by minute trust and believe He was always with us and always protecting us.

Too many times things happened that could have had tragic outcomes. But the Lord always protected us, and at no other time in my life have I felt His presence more or as often as when we lived there.

I had a keen sense of angels around us, and especially watching over the kids as they were out wandering or even playing by the creek. With my then husbands whacked out cousins showing up at all hours of the day or night, usually drunk or spun on meth, there were lots of times when I have no doubt each child had a guardian angel specifially assigned to them.

Yes I know that sounds unbelievable or even a bit like fantasy, but Jesus himself did say children have guardian angels. ""See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven". Matthew 18:10

And if Jesus says it is so, then it is so.

There were countless times I prayed and asked the Lord to protect us, there were times when I had to claim and speak out loud scripture such as "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind". Or just simply, "fear not".

I am going to make an effort to continue posting about the time at the cabin as things come to my mind. And there may be times when I just sign on here to ramble...But then isn't that kind of what having a blog is all about anyway? :-)

Lack of Judgment

Not long after we moved to the Cabin and before Suzie came into my life I had a dog named Dusty. Dusty was beautiful, all white, one blue eye and one brown. She was wolf-shepherd mix and a very intelligent animal. She also as most animals do, could sense if a person was someone to be leery of.

When we first moved to the mountains, my husband at the time had stressed he did not want ANYONE to know the cabin was there. He didn’t want anyone we didn’t know to know we were living there nor where the cabin was actually located.

That was fine with me, especially since we had no phone or way to contact the ‘outside’ world should an intruder show up. I never really worried much about it since we had Dusty and she was a great watch dog.

One afternoon my husband showed up with a ‘stranger’. He was the son of a man who lived up the road. You know how sometimes you instantly get a feeling of mistrust when you meet some people? There is really no reason other than it’s a feeling inside your gut something is just not right and this person could be a danger in some way or another. That was my reaction to this guy.

And when Dusty became agitated and continued to growl at this person, the red flag went up higher. Of all the people he could have broken his own rule to bring down, he chose this guy!

The father of this guy was an old timer in Omo Ranch. So I guess my husband figured it was safe to bring him down. For the life of me I cannot figure out why he didn’t get the same sense of creepiness from this guy. But then I guess when you are using drugs your sense of creepiness get numbed. Or I should say your lack of good judgment comes out.

Anyway, my husband brought him into the cabin to show him the place. Dusty staying by my side the whole time, quietly growing letting her opinion of this man be known.

We sat at the table and were talking, actually they were talking I was sitting there with a  very uneasy feeling and Dusty laying at my feet under the table continuing to growl was not lessening this uneasiness.

This guy was telling us how he had served in Vietnam and went into detail about killing and being so adept at sneaking up on someone before they knew what hit them. He kept going on and on about how he could blend into the woods and watch people and they would never even know he was there.

Flaming RED flags began going up in my mind!!  

The whole time he is talking about this stuff he keeps looking over at me, talk about that creepy feeling, I had it big time. And it got worse.

He proceeded to go and on to my husband about how someone could come down here and attack his wife and no one would hear the screams. How easy the cabin would be to break into and how no one would ever know what was happening until it was too late.

All I could think about was, of all the people he decided to allow to know where the cabin was, and to inform him of personal things like the kids and I being there alone at times, he chose this psychotic and frightening man!
It was bad enough Dusty and I had the warnings inside about this guy to begin with, but to listen to the things this guy was saying, and saying it so nonchalantly on top of it.

The  most menacing thing was he kept saying over and over again how someone could sneak down here and attack ME and no one would hear the screams, and then threw in a couple more times his ability to remain undetected until it was too late.

After he finally left I ask my then husband, “What the hell where you thinking bring this whacko down to the cabin? You were the one who said you didn’t want anyone down here and you bring someone like that here?” All he could say was “don’t worry about it, he will be leaving soon, he’s just visiting his dad. I don’t think he would try anything and I don’t believe he could get down here without us knowing.” Yeah right, that eased my mind.. NOT!

The first thing I did was of course pray for the Lord’s protection over the kids and I. Thanked the Lord for Dusty as I knew no one could sneak past her.

A day or two later, my husband was getting ready to leave, he was taking the kids up the hill for something, I can’t remember what now. This meant I would be there alone.

I had never been worried about being there alone before that night. I had an uneasy feeling so I prayed for the Lord’s protection again, and that if something was going to happen he would stop my husband from leaving.

Just as he was getting to drive up the road, Dusty started growling and then barking. He stopped and looked back, in his rear view mirror he saw that guys stepping out of the trees.  He came walking out saying, “I told you I could sneak up on you down here. If it wasn’t for that dog you wouldn’t have known I was here.”

Dusty came running to my side.  I silently prayed, “thank you Lord for Dusty and for not allowing this man to show up after they had left.”  

My husband told him he was not welcome and he had better not try a stunt like that again. He also informed him I always had a shotgun when he was gone and knew how to use it. Now that wasn’t exactly true, but the guy didn’t know that! He never showed up again. We found out a week or so later he had gone back to where ever he’d come from.

For awhile I still felt uneasy about being alone at the cabin, but I trusted the Lord to protect us, as HE was at the time the only real guardian I could count on. And He had blessed us with Dusty I believe for that reason.

Unfortunately it wasn’t the only time my then husband used a lack of judgment and put no only myself but the kids inadvertently in danger. Thank the Lord HE never leaves us nor forsakes us and is our very present help in time of need!!

Good Times

It’s been awhile since I have written anything on this site. I have been trying to decide what I wanted to put here. I was trying to remember some good times we had at the cabin but for some reason I am having a hard time remember very many.
I remember some funny things to which I wish I had pictures for. But then Jason wouldn’t appreciate that much. I use to bath the kids in a round water trough. We would heat the water on the wood stove and pour it in to trough. I have this picture in my mind of Jason sitting there with his knees up around his chin taking a bath. I at one time had a picture, but unfortunately it has been lost, lucky for Jason!
Then there was the time one winter when the boys made a sled and wanted to sled down the hill behind the cabin. The only problem was they did not take into consideration at the end of the hill was a drop off of about 4-5'. Once they hit the end of the slope they dropped straight down. That kind of spoiled the sledding fun for the day. Boys will be boys!
All three of the boys enjoyed finding critters, salamanders or waterdogs as they called em. There was always something to explore for them. Unfortunately for Sarah it wasn't much fun, having to use an outhouse, no bathtub, no running water all the things little girls need to be comfortable. She did have a good friend up the hill, the same family that took us in when we walked out after being snowed in. They still keep in touch having found each other on the net.
When we first moved to the cabin I use to read the Little House on the Prairie books, the similarities of our life at the cabin and the way life was lived in the books was scary. I use to wash clothes down at the creek on rocks, and believe it or not they got clean, although scrubbing on rocks has a tendency to wear clothes out faster.
I bought and read over and over a book on wildlife in the mountains. The kids and I use to try to figure out what left what tracks. We discovered bear, mountain lions, skunks (not my favorite, cute but smelly), opossums, racoons, quail, snakes, lizards and so on.
There were many times when I would walk up the hill and hear something following me just up the hill in the trees. I could never get a good look at it, but decided it was probably a mountain lion. I had read they will out of curiosity follow at a distance and were usually not dangerous unless threatened. So I just accepted the fact I was in it's territory and as long as I didn't bother it, it wouldn't bother me or the kids. And it never did. It was pretty cool though knowing I had somewhat of a companion when walking.
Of all the things I miss its the beauty of nature we experienced every day. Each season was filled with a different visual blessing from above. Winter was the pure cleaness of the falling snow, Spring was the gorgeous blossoms on the apple trees, pink and white; the changing colors of Fall, yellow, brown, and faded green.
At times it was a harsh way to live, but the beauty and the wildlife made it all worth it.

In Memory of Suzie

This picture reminded me of Suzie, so I felt it appropriate to place it on this site. I miss her so much, and even though she was merely an animal, as some would say, she was my soulmate and friend. She would be would be over 20 years old now.

Snowed In

After living at the Cabin for a couple of years we were able to get a generator. With the freezer full of food and "electricity" I thought it would be awesome to get snowed in. I pictured being all snug in the cabin watching the snow fall. Reading stories and playing games, and even watching movies now that we had a generator. No one to bother us, the cousins wouldn't be able to get down the road it would be almost heaven. Unfortunately what I pictured and what I got were two totally different things.
My husband decided to offer his drug buddy a place to stay for awhile. He was going through a breakup and needed some place to stay. It was bad enough having to deal with one crankster, but now there were two. And both liked to use meth as well as drink.
I believe I said before the cabin had been there over 40 years.
I am sure in those 40 years there had been worse storms than the one we experienced. So the cabin was pretty sturdy. In all those years no one had actually lived there during winter so it was pretty obvious it could hold quite a lot of snow on the roof with no problem.
This buddy of my husband, who we will call Joe (not his real name) was one of those very paranoid cranksters. When the "blizzard" hit he started freaking out, first it was trying to keep the road open, they drove off and on all night up and down pulling a railroad tie behind the truck to keep the snow from getting too deep. They waited too long on the last trip and within a couple of hours it was too deep to get through. The snow began to pile up.
It was at least five feet deep, the roof was covered and we could barely see out the windows from the blowing snow. We had the woodstove going of course so every so often you could hear chunks of snow falling of the roof.
Joe started pacing saying "what if the roof caves in, that's a lot of snow." He kept going on and on. My husband told him to stop worrying about it, the cabin had been there for years and it hadn't caved in yet from the snow. Of course being paranoid all he could do is say just because it didn't before doesn't mean it wouldn't now.
The man was really beginning to get on my nerves! Not to mention the two of them being cranked up neither could shut their mouths. They would ramble on and on about absolutely NOTHING!
The second day of the storm brought more snow. So of course that night we had the same paranoia only this night he added a twist.
I was watching "Lethal Weapon" for the first time. Enjoying our generator and having the ability to watch a movie again. Just as it was getting to the good part we could faintly hear Suzie bark, she was quite a ways from the cabin past the creek from the sounds of it.
"That's a little weird", I said, "she never barks, must be something out there."
BIG MISTAKE to say this considering this guys was such a tweeker. Next thing you know he is insisting we put out the lights, shut the generator off so we can see if someone is out there and so no one will know we are home.
I just looked at him with such disbelief anyone could be that stupid. Here we are down in a canyon, five feet or more of snow on the ground, the only way in is the road which is also covered with several feet of snow, not even a 4-wheeler could make it down that road, and this guy thinks there is someone out there!
He kept insisting someone was out there after him. I simply told him "Hey I am watching a movie here and we are NOT shutting the generator off because you are tweeking." This guy was freaking out!!! My husband told him "Man if someone wants you THAT bad you need to get the hell out of here because there is no way for anyone to get down here."
Joe finally let it go, but still continued to pace around the house. This was my final straw.
The next morning they were out trying to dig out this old snowmobile. They figured they could get it running and make it up to the road to get help. I had decided I could not take anymore. Because Matt and Chris were so little and the snow was so deep there was no way I was going to be able to carry them two miles in the snow up the hill. So Sarah, Jason and I headed up the hill. I figured we could make it to the neighbors and see if we could get someone to plow open the road.
Now call it ignorance if you must, but I really thought it wouldn't be THAT hard to walk out of there.
The snow was well past my knees, making it a bit difficult to break a trail. I didn't figure on the kids getting tired and cold so quickly and guess I hadn't really realized just how far it was to go in the snow.
We had made it half way up and the kids were wore out. I was wore out and we still had a long ways to go. I will never forget... Sarah threw herself on the ground and said, "I am not going any farther, I can't, I am not getting up." We had two choices. Head back down to the cabin...To me not an option...Or continue up the hill.
So I told her, "Sarah I cannot carry you, if you want to go back to the cabin fine, but it's the same distance back down as it is to go the rest of the way up. So either get up and start walking or you are going to freeze to death right here."
We continued on our journey. I don't even know how many hours it took us to finally get up the hill and to our friends house, I know we were near frozen when we got to her door. She brought us into her home, sat us by the woodstove and gave us hot chocolate. I told her we were snowed in and the boys were still down there with their dad. Her husband got on the phone with the man who owned the tree farm and explained the boys were still down there and the road was closed. I spent the night worrying about Matt and Chris but all I could do was pray they were ok. That next morning their dad showed up. He had walked the boys out. He left them with me and headed back down, they were still trying to get the snowmobile running...
That morning the gentleman who owned the tree farm took his plow down the road and opened it up for us.
So much for my desire to be snowed in!